hello i love splatterpunk comedy inspired by the addams family and calvin & hobbes

You thought I forgot about you, didn’t you, blog? Don’t worry, I’m just negligent! But this new release is so exciting I’ve got to make sure everybody sees it. My first-ever standalone splatterpunk novel is out today, available wherever books are sold in paperback as well as ebook.

Ever wonder what would happen if Wednesday Addams met Calvin & Hobbes on a science museum field trip where they found the disgruntled janitor’s guns? I did! Meet Miranda Even and Luther & Paine. Smokeland will never be the same.

GET IT ON AMAZON – OR WHEREVER YOU BUY YOUR BOOKS!

Scientific progress goes splat!

Luther Watson is an anxious boy. His best friend, Paine, assures him that he has no reason to be, but what could Paine know of anxiety? No bipedal wolf capable of disguising itself as a stuffed animal has anything to worry about…especially when the only person who can see him is Luther.

That is, until a field trip to the Smokeland Science Museum introduces him to Miranda Even, the disturbing daughter of an eccentric family of Smokeland locals. Her morbid interest in all the parts of life most others try to ignore soon have the new friends embroiled in a scheme to determine just why, exactly, the science museum’s old janitor was so freaked out to be fired without having a chance to clean his office…and as the answer turns out to be far more dangerous than expected, chaos overtakes the science museum, people will die, and–oh, yeah.

A woman-eating wolf is on the loose.

Welcome to Smokeland.

This splatterific romp is meant to be fun and funny as well as horrifying, so if dead kids can’t make you laugh under any circumstances, I wouldn’t read this if I were you.

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hello i love celebrating christmas with consensual cannibalism, amputation, and fmf threeways

Merry Christmas, reader! It’s my favorite time of year, and what better way to celebrate than with a novella-length horrotica comedy set in the DOTTIE FOR YOU universe? As the post title says, this standalone special contains amputation, cuckqueaning, a very hot threeway, and plenty of consensual cannibalism all wrapped up in a hilarious comedy routine that can only be described as the cannibal homage to Steamed Hams. Have A VERY DOTTIE CHRISTMAS, reader!

READ A VERY DOTTIE CHRISTMAS NOW!

Ah, Christmas! If there’s one thing Dottie loves as much as Harold Fleetwood, it’s Christmas: and the billionaire CEO is intent on making his first Christmas with his new, demi-immortal wife an unforgettable one. When you’ve got two regenerating people with a penchant for consensual cannibalism, after all, it solves the problem of Christmas dinner…and after removing one of the limbs of his favorite tender dish, Harold is looking forward to aging their new ham enough for an elegant Christmas feast.

Or he was, anyway…because, as Christmas day grows later, more unexpected guests begin to arrive to the slaughterhouse by the hour. It’s all well and good when his ex-wife Molly, the sexy blonde heiress, shows up for a bit of three-way play…but then his corporate secretary, Pearl, decides to swing by. And all this to say nothing of Leopold Byron, Harold’s nuclearized business partner-turned-rival for Dottie’s affection.

Good thing his PA, Simonetta, hasn’t carved into her turkey yet…now if Harold can just keep everyone out of the kitchen until she arrives to save the day.

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